Sapodia

Name: Sapodia
Age: 24
Occupation: Human

What steps do you have to take in order for you to feel your best?
I always carry some essential oils with me to shift my mood throughout the day. As well as simple things like eating good food and keeping my space tidy and cleansed with sage or palo santo so I can think clearly.

How important is self love to you? How do you practice self care?
Self love is everything. I used to see self love as a place you got to where you felt consistently good about yourself, which made it very unattainable. When I realised that self love is the acceptance and validity of all emotions and the way you feel in different contexts, it changed everything. Now, I’ve developed a strong continuity of positive self talk and use that to work with my emotions instead of against them.

Can you re call a moment in which you felt empowered as a women?
Taking control of my sexuality and how I choose to express myself sexually has felt really empowering. Realising I was sexually attracted to both men and women has put me on this journey of wanting to learn as much about it as possible. The more I learn and understand, the more I feel empowered as a sexual woman.

Have you ever had issues with your body image/self worth? If so, where do you believe they first stemmed from?
I’ve definitely had issues with self worth. I’m originally from Mullumbimby, in the Byron Shire, so was used to eccentricities being nurtured and encouraged. My self worth issues formed when we moved to a small town in the mountains, 3 hours away from the coast, when I was in primary school. Individuality was not easily accepted there. I remember forming a fear of speaking because there were so many times I was instantly judged or ostracised for expressing something that wasn't labelled the ‘norm’. It was strange being in a home environment that was so open to exploring all kinds of ideas and beliefs, to then being in an outside environment where I had to moderate and suppress parts of who I was for the sake of living easier. I fell into a deep depression and stopped eating because of it, so eventually moved back to the coast when I was in high school. Ever since then I’ve made it a personal objective to surround myself with creative, accepting, loving people and to focus on encouraging my own and other people’s authentic expression.

Can you re call a pivotal point in your journey towards acceptance & unlocking undying self love?
Two years ago was a very intense time in my life, someone close to me passed away and it made me question my whole reality. I was in a state of complete surrender to life and I gave up caring about people’s perceptions or judgements of who I was or what I was doing because it was totally irrelevant to what was going on for me emotionally. Prior to that experience I’d always been hard on myself, but I remember realising that being gentle and compassionate with myself was the only way I was going to get through. Looking back, that frame of mind was important in my journey to self love and acceptance because I really had to carry myself and my pain as no one could do it for me. That time really highlighted my capabilities.

How do you fill your basket back up when you’re feeling a little low?
There’s always something I need to work on, so when I’m feeling low, I scale everything back and reduce my expectations for how much I can achieve. I usually have a lot of baths because it takes me out of my mind and brings me back to my body. Company can be a great way to boost my mood, but sometimes having time alone to reconnect with myself is nice too.

What does balance mean to you?
Balance is important because I’m naturally a very impulsive and highly adrenalised person so I’ve always struggled with finding a middle ground. I’ve made it my new focus to be mindful about that aspect of myself and to implement more discipline and rituals so I stay grounded and channel that high energy towards something constructive.

Do you feel proud to be a women?
I feel proud now, but I was confused for a long time because I never identified with the stereotypical representations of what ‘feminine’ was. But at the same time, I never felt like I had to be a certain way because my mum was a single mum with four kids and did everything, so I never witnessed any set gender roles at home. It wasn’t until I was older and entered the world as an adult that I realised how structured gender is, and how intricate the expectations of both men and women are embedded into society. Taking time to disassociate myself from those expectations and find what being a woman meant for me was really important. It’s a beautiful feeling when you’re able to reclaim your femininity and decide how you choose to express it. Also thinking about what my mum would have gone through as a single mother, and how much emotional strength that would have required, makes me feel proud to be a woman. We’re pretty great.

If you had one week left on earth, what would you change about your life? How would you spend your last moments?
I don’t think I would necessarily change anything; most of my time is already spent surrounded by people I love that so I would just continue to make every moment about that. My friends and I like making pancakes together, so simply friends and cacao and banana pancakes everyday!

Describe a moment that filled your heart with pure bliss!
Recently some friends and I went on a mini road trip to a place called Coffee Rock, which is this area where a National park and the ocean are separated by huge sand dunes. One morning we got up at first light to watch the sunrise. Talking about dream interpretations we sat atop the dunes with the national park behind us and the sun rising over the ocean in front of us. That was pretty magical!