On multiple occasions I’ve found myself pondering the idea of vices, how much weight I wish for them to have in my life & to which degree of occurrence I’m comfortable with them making an appearance.
Like; some suck vapes, others over-consume. Some binge drink, others gravitate towards junk food. Some stay busy, others procrastinate.
I believe any of the above done in excess is a mask for an emotional ailment that hasn’t yet been faced head on.
Can we all agree that we’ve found ourselves leaning on something, at times to a point of excess, in order to attain a particular feeling? Potentially one of the above or something in a similar vein.
I’ve been through stints where I’ve depended on food for joy. At other times, it’s been Tobacco, weed or vapes.
I guess it’s all dopamine…
The short cut to pleasure.
The thing is, what keeps us suffering is the constant seeking of pleasure and that is even true from a neurobiological perspective. Because what pleasure is, is dopamine.
All dopamine wants is more dopamine.
It is in fact the molecule of more & I swear to god, it is never content.
Turns out dopamine is a primary driver behind all addiction so when you’re leaning on something that lives outside of you (in excess) to motivate, accentuate or heighten certain feelings, emotions or experiences, I think it’s time to re asses.
That also ends up being a big ol’ metaphor for life…if you’re living the examined kind that is…
Consistently re evaluating what feels good & who feels good…who doesn’t & needs to be put on ice.
Drugs are a funny one though.
Interesting when you contemplate the idea that they bare no influence in the lives of some & to others, they have a heavy grasp.
My neighbour smokes crack so understanding the latter feels close to home. Pun intendy.
After a solid abstinence in the realm of madame Mary Jane, I realise her weight isn’t at all heavy in my life anymore.
And that’s something I feel really proud of.
Weed has offered me plenty but where I once leant on it to attain presence, calm, motivation or ideas, I now find in silence, rest or even whilst baking cookies and listening to Moby full pelt.
Because ideas are everywhere & calm is accessible through the most constant thing in our lives. Breath.
And after all is said and done, everything you need already rests inside you.
I write this without judgement. I ain’t saintly. A cheeky rolly in good company every now and then hits…when it’s not fuelled by escapism.
When I was leaning hard on the aforementioned, I never really felt like there was relatable info circulating the world wide web so now this is here.
Mostly to get the conversation going surrounding things we lean on for instant gratification.
Is there something in your life that could do with a spot of readjustment?
Be well, x