Why you shouldn’t hang out with boring people

Aiiiight.
We’ve all heard that age old saying about being a product of the 5 people you spend the most time with SO, who are your people?

I like to see my current friendship circle as outspoken, unafraid, empowered, honest, hilarious, in touch, supportive & present.
The group is compact but I like it like that.

My psych talks about this club that you’re either in or you’re not.
It’s called the “Growers Club” and if you’re in it, you’re aware of your patterns, curious about getting to know yourself, observant of your triggers, are reading the books or at the very least, curious about it all.
If you’re not in the cluuuuurb, it means you’re not currently living an examined life and that you don’t really fuss over your footprint being all that positive.
I’ve found that people who are in the latter often have narcissistic tendencies.
Not my people.
Anyway, I like the framework & live by it.
I respect people who aren’t in the growers club but I don’t associate with them. 
I don’t find people who aren’t interested in the pursuit of mastering one self to be all that interesting.
To me, the most exciting thing on this earth is the study of people. 
It is an insatiable thirst that I just can’t seem to quench.
But that’s cool, all I have is time.

I read an essay on why you shouldn’t hang out with boring people and the angle felt very science based so I thought I’d put a spin on it.
I love science, the brain, molecules, nerve cells etc…but to me, it feels more like an intuitive practice.
Choosing your people that is….
So how does one measure who is right for you and who needs to be shown the door?

First question!
Who is close by?
Are you proud to be associated with your humans?
Do your friendships leave you feeling inspired, excited, heard & supported?
Did you have to really think about the above?

Can you just be with your pals or do you find yourself feeling energetically sapped after most encounters?
Do your friends spend the majority of the time talking about other people or do you find the conversation stimulating?
When you’re supporting your friends, do they listen and act accordingly, knowing that you have their best interest at heart or do you feel like whatever you say goes in one ear and out the other?

I’ve experienced a myriad of relationships in my time and have had a taste of many different flavours.
Ones that left me feeling elated, others, depleted.
Ones that reminded me that I am deserving, others that motivated great change & my personal fav, the ones that softly edged me towards an awareness that it might be time to leave behind a way of doing or thinking that no longer serves. Always with care. 

I’ve invested energy and love into some questionable humans and have had to be somewhat savage with those who are welcome and those who are not.
And that’s never easy.
The truth is, my standards are high in every aspect of my life and I like that about myself.
I won’t invest energy into people who don’t want to evolve.
There’s love & understanding there but cycle repeating and never changing hurts my soul & my brain and the threshold has been exhausted.
After all, one cannot force, one can only guide.
People have to come to it on their own.
And the chat about the 10 dudes you’ve got on the go…god I got sick of those chats.
I like to listen but If I wanted to hear about the shit dudes on the coast that you’re playing games with, I’d go out of a night and experience them for myself.
That’s top shelf boring to me.

My fav friendships are the ones that are equal give and take.
Where the rules are unspoken and the friendship is built on flow.
You talk and then you listen.
You aren’t just waiting for the person to shut the fuck up so you can get a word in.
OR you’re excited, so you chime in but it’s celebrated because it’s valuable information that arrived excitedly at just the right time.
There are no rules but the above is what I’ve been vibing the most lately.
Quality relationships take time to build but when they’re meant for you, they’ll leave you feeling so damn satiated.

So how do you feel about your closest 5?
Are you beautifully surrounded or could it be time to reevaluate?
If you’re feeling like it’s time to reevaluate, I encourage you to feel excited about the possibilities as they are endless.
When you decide that you’re not going to settle in the friendship department, you’re signalling to the universe that you’re ready for more and she listens.
When I went through the above, there were some very real moments.
Between the recalibration time & the sexy new friends you’re set to draw in, I’d like to warn you about the potential of feeling like a lonely little alien for a bit.
I encourage you to sit with that feeling & use that time as rocket fuel for becoming super clear about what you want to feel in the next phase.
And trust. Please trust.
You CAN have it all <3

Another cool exercise I encourage you to do if you’re feeling a little bit lost is the 1’s, 2’s & 3’s exercise.

Your 1’s are your number ones that you would do anything for, at any time, no matter what.
The love is unconditional and you’re better for knowing them.
The 1’s pull you up on your shit with the intention of motivating a better you so that in turn, you’re gifted a lighter life.
They are your ride or dies, if you will.

The 2’s are cool cats.
They’re important and considered. Love and appreciated.
Ya’ll vibe and enjoy each others company and hang out and it’s a grand ol’ time but the bond doesn’t have that full blown fairy dust that the ride or dies possess.

The 3’s are good people but they’re not at the top of the priority list.
They’re the ones you smile and wave at, have small chat with but quality time with them doesn’t cross your mind.

The idea is to focus on your numero unos!
To water those relationships and to watch them expand into whatever your heart might desire.
The truth is, the limit does not exist and the potential in your friendships is INFINITE.
It’s infinite in every aspect of your life to be honest but today, the focus is kicking boring cunnies to the curb & appreciating our core humans.

So! Drumroll! 

The reason you shouldn’t hang out with boring people is because you’ll become boring and we don’t want that.

Write a list of what you want in a friend, become it & finally, sit back & relax baabbbay.

All that you desire is en route. I promise.

Life changing book recs:
If you want to re wire your thought patterns to bring in maximum goodness, I recommend anything Joe Dispenza.
Micheal Singer will always be MVP. I will never not recommend Mr Singer. 
The book “Outrageous Openness” by Tosha Silver is a simple read but it is truly brilliant & 100% the reason why I make money now instead of fearing it. Average cover, mint book.

LOVE x